I grew up in a small town in East Tennessee. My mother was from South Carolina and my dad was from Virgina. We spent most of our family vacations traveling, and spending time with extended family. When I moved to the mid-West, I never thought how my move might impact my ability to visit with my extended family. Both of my parents have passed, as have most of my aunts and uncles. I am blessed with many, many cousins but seeing them can be very difficult, considering travel time and life’s everyday responsibilities.
As I get older, the importance of staying connected with my extended family has really hit me hard. My mother had two siblings, and I loved visiting with my Aunt Wyatt and Uncle Mocus at Pawley’s Island, SC each summer. Along the way, we stopped in Sumter, SC to see my Uncle Gene and Aunt Annette. My parents are both gone, as are Aunt Wyatt, Uncle Mocus and Uncle Gene. Aunt Annette, who has just turned 90, still lives in Sumter, which is about a 16-hour car ride away. In 2025, I will turn 50. At the end of 2023, as I thought about what I wanted to do in 2024 for my 49th year, I had such a strong desire to see Aunt Annette, who I have always adored. I didn’t want to text, or email, or facetime. I wanted to visit her in person, and give her a hug, even if we must drive 16 hours to do it.
My birthday is always during my son’s spring break, which is usually the second week in March. For this year’s spring break (and my birthday), this is exactly what we are doing. We are going to stop in my hometown to visit with my brother and his family on the way, and then head over to Sumter for a couple of days to see Aunt Annette and spend time with her. We are also going to see my grandmother’s home in Bishopville, SC, and see if we can find the Lizardman which was last seen in the swamps around Bishopville.
It won’t be a long visit, but it will be fulfilling – and I will get to spend time with family who knew me well before I hit my 49th year. We will be able to talk about all our loved ones who are no longer with us, and in doing so, feel a little closer to them in the storytelling. My son will hear about family members he didn’t meet and understand a little more of his family history. Most of all, I will be seeing someone that I love, for perhaps the last time. I can think of no better way to spend my 49th birthday.
I work with families who are grieving the loss of a parent, a child, a brother, a sister….and if there is anything I have learned, there is always a regret about not spending enough time. I have never heard anyone say they wished they had spent less time with their loved one. Life goes by quickly – and seemingly more quickly as I get older. Take a minute, think about who you want to see and go do it. There is no regret in doing so.
