I grew up in a hospitable home. Almost weekly, we were having someone over for dinner, or for lunch after church on a Sunday. My grandparents on my mom’s side hosted regular card parties that were full of laughter and fun. We played a card game called Pitch. I won’t go into all the details of the game, but generally, you have a partner with whom you attempt to get at least as many points as you bid. As young children, we were slotted at tables with senior citizens who had played Pitch for decades, yet were patient when we decided to “shoot the moon”—trying to get all 10 points—with merely an ace, jack, and two trump cards. I remember so well my grandmother enthusiastically saying to me, “Lead out my Zingazoola,” after one of my crazy bids that would surely cost us the game. It was so fun.
As a society, we’ve become more and more lonely and isolated. Depression is at an all-time high. I have a bunch of theories about why this has happened that I’m sure no one is interested in hearing, but whatever the reason, we need to come out of isolation and connect with people. When I say connect, I don’t mean online. I mean in person, face to face, not screen to screen. Humans need community, yes, even you, my introverted friend.
So how do we connect? I truly believe we connect by putting ourselves out there, initiating friendship, and inviting people into our homes. If we wait on someone to invite us, we may be waiting forever. So be the one that invites. Decide to have someone over for a meal—it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. I think Pinterest has tricked us all into thinking that we must provide a photo-worthy spread with place cards and cloth napkins. That’s ridiculous and not sustainable for most of us. I know you’re thinking that your house needs to be perfect—it doesn’t! My grandparents’ house was over 100 years old and had four tiny rooms, but we packed those rooms with joy and memories.
This weekend, I was at Sam’s Club and saw chicken thighs and wings on sale. I threw them in my cart and sent a quick text to some friends that said, “Tuesday night I’m grilling chicken and have stuff for a salad. Bring your favorite side and come at 6:30.” What a random night to entertain! I had to be at work until 5. When everyone arrived, my sink was full of dirty dishes, and my counters were a mess of chopped vegetables, bowls, and other cooking supplies. No one cared at all. They all pitched in, helped set the table, and helped clean up. It wasn’t fancy, but we were together and had a ball.
Grab a pizza, get takeout Chinese, or cook something simple. People don’t care—they’re just thankful to be asked or included. We need to get back to having people in our homes and investing in each other’s lives. Getting outside of ourselves and inviting blesses the giver more than the receiver.
Final thought: don’t be a scorekeeper. Many people aren’t comfortable or confident in inviting. If you keep score and wait for a return invite, you’ll miss out on the blessing of friendship. Those of you who are invited but don’t invite back—don’t let this be an excuse. Invite back! Don’t let your fear or insecurity deny you the blessing of hospitality.
