I was 23 years old when I made the decision to leave everything I had ever known in California and move to Hawaii to be with my husband, who was enlisted in the military. The support of some friends and family accompanied this decision, while others believed it would eventually lead to divorce. In a matter of month’s my entire childhood went into moving boxes and across the Pacific Ocean.
I cried that entire plane ride. The realization that I wouldn’t see my mom and grandma every day hit. I cried for all the missed birthdays of my nephews and nieces, the school activities, and the family holidays of which I would no longer be a part. My heart ached for months, perhaps even the entire first year.
There I was living in Hawaii with my husband, in military housing surrounded by the sounds of men and women running cadence. I met people from all over the United States, who at one point or another, felt that overwhelming sadness I felt. In the military I felt a since of community, everyone took each day as it came, never knowing where they would be stationed next or if they would get deployed. My fellow military friends would soon move to a new duty station and I never knew if I would see them again, but I sure did enjoy that time I had with them.
I worked at an Army Child Development Center. I loved all the children that walked into our center. Military children would miss mom and dad while they were away for a week or maybe a few months while fighting for their country abroad. These little humans didn’t know the immense sacrifices their parents were making, they just wanted to be whole again.
I don’t intent to evoke sadness but offer a glimpse of the unique experiences and challenges the military community faces—a reality that often goes unnoticed by the average civilian. The next time you encounter someone currently serves or has served, instead of asking when they will visit, consider offering to visit them, understanding that their schedules are subject to change at the hands of others. Check on them, see if you can send a care package containing items they may not have access to where they are stationed. Be there for them and their families without expecting anything in return.
I am grateful for my years in the military community. Hawaii became my home—a place filled with the joys and struggles of early marriage. It was where friendships that began with weekend festivities grew into a chosen family. It was where I gave birth to my beautiful precious baby girl. I opened my eyes to an entire community that was simply trying to navigate their own version of normal when nothing was “normal.”
To all those who have served, are currently serving, and those who made the ultimate sacrifice, thank you.
