Patty Loveless’ 1993 song “How Can I Help You Say Goodbye” lyrics say, “life’s about changing, nothing ever stays the same”. These words have echoed in my mind so many times as I have journeyed through life. But this year, as my first Mother’s Day without my mom approaches, it hits me hard because my earthly rock through the valleys in life said goodbye to us on June 12, 2023.
My mom experienced heart wrenching losses as a young wife and mother but she persevered with incredible strength, dignity, and courage, giving me and my brother a beautiful example of loving and living through the heartaches of life. One of the ways she found solace, comfort, and joy was through gardening.
As an avid gardener, mom passionately believed in making the world more beautiful and healthier one plant at a time. As I sit in my sunroom, I often smile looking at some of her indoor plants I brought home (and secretly praying I do not kill them, or she may haunt me! Just kidding!). I cannot decide if the African Violets or the myriad of Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving cacti are my favorites. I also transplanted several of mom’s outdoor plants into my various flower beds. It was a bittersweet feeling when I saw her hellebores poke their heads up through the snow as an early reminder spring would be arriving soon. In my mind, I can see her smiling as they emerged early each spring. The clematises are taking off, beginning to bloom, and are attracting hummingbirds to my feeders. This weekend the peony buds began opening as well! One evening before my mom passed, she gave me her 10-year anniversary ring from my dad. It is two flowers made of diamonds … how perfect is that! Although these are all beautiful reminders of mom, it is bittersweet because I yearn to walk through her gardens with her admiring them there …
It also brings me so much comfort and joy to see mom’s passion for gardening growing and flourishing in my daughters. I love it when they send me photos of their new “plant babies” or the construction of their raised beds because I know they feel that same bond she shared with them.
The sparkle truly returned to her eyes when her grandchildren were born. She loved having them help her plant in the garden or just walk beside her smelling the flowers. Mom always said all of her grandkids and great grandkids were good eaters because they ate vegetables they picked from her garden, and we all believe it is true.
I definitely was not ready to say goodbye to my mom, but I am thankful that one of her gifts to us was having her estate planning documents completed making it easier for us to wrap up her financial affairs without unnecessary stress during such an emotional time.
Happy Mother’s Day to each and every mom!
